diff --git a/bert/services/http/index.nix b/bert/services/http/index.nix
index c358bb0..07342bc 100644
--- a/bert/services/http/index.nix
+++ b/bert/services/http/index.nix
@@ -23,5 +23,30 @@
           metrics # Enable Prometheus monitoring
       }
     '';
+    virtualHosts.":80" = {
+      serverAliases = [":443"];
+      extraConfig = ''
+      respond <<EOF
+      <!DOCTYPE html>
+      <html>
+        <head>
+          <title>not found - chandlerswift.com</title>
+          <style>
+              body {
+                  width: 35em;
+                  margin: 0 auto;
+                  font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif;
+              }
+          </style>
+        </head>
+        <body>
+          <h1>not found - chandlerswift.com</h1>
+          <p>This page is hosted with <a href="https://chandlerswift.com/">chandlerswift.com</a>,
+          but the site couldn't be found.</p>
+        </body>
+      </html>
+      EOF 404
+      '';
+    };
   };
 }
diff --git a/bert/services/http/swiftgang.net.nix b/bert/services/http/swiftgang.net.nix
index 1de094e..7ae5ec7 100644
--- a/bert/services/http/swiftgang.net.nix
+++ b/bert/services/http/swiftgang.net.nix
@@ -1,6 +1,9 @@
 
 {
-  services.caddy.virtualHosts."swiftgang.net".extraConfig = ''
+  # GoDaddy can't do flattening to apply a CNAME to an apex record. So we use
+  # their "forwarding" (redirect-as-a-service) to redirect to www.…, which we
+  # _can_ CNAME.
+  services.caddy.virtualHosts."www.swiftgang.net".extraConfig = ''
     encode zstd gzip
     file_server
     root * /srv/www/swiftgang.net
